Friday, November 14, 2008

Bacon. The Culinary World's Most Lethal Narcotic.

If you think about it, if there's one ingredient/food that really widens your eyes upon hearing the word, it has to be bacon (unless you're a vegetarian). You're at a restaurant and the waiter is going through his specials for the evening.

"Macaroni & cheese. Creamed corn soup. Baked potato skins."

Zzzzz. Boring. But what if you added the B-word to these all.

"Macaroni & cheese with bacon. Creamed corn soup with bacon. Baked potato skins with bacon."

Now things are interesting. I've come to the conclusion that bacon is a drug, you just don't know it. It'll be raising the eyebrows of every DEA agent very soon. Look at how this narcotic has spread through the nation, onto our plates.

Google's Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger (photo from Geeksaresexy.com)
We all know that Google spends a ton of money on fattening up their employees with starch, carbs and fat so they'll forget how much they are actually getting paid. They've taken the cheeseburger to another level by sandwiching in between Krispy Kreme donuts and adding the Special B in. It pains me to even look at this image – my cholesterol just jumped up 200 pts without even trying it. A minor league team in Sauget, Illinois has also made a pact to entertain their fans with action, entertainment and a free ambulance ride to the hospital with their 1,000+ calorie burger which is sold at $4.50. Is $4.50 worth a $45,000 bypass surgery?

Nickel Diner in Los Angeles's Maple-Bacon Doughnuts
*Clenching chest. This pastry is highly reviewed by the Yelp army and it actually sounds good – if you're stoned. Try it here.

Voodoo Doughnut's Version of the Bacon Doughnut
Maybe my fellow foodblogger in Portland, Guilty Carnivore, can shed some light on what this does to the arteries. Check out Voodoo Doughnut's site.

David Lebovitz's Bacon Ice Cream
Ok now, I would actually try this. This would taste so good on nicely toasted brioche. Send me a gallon David! Visit David's site for the recipe.

Respect the Bacon Suit
How do I look? J actually thinks I'm wearing the standard tuxedo and bowtie for our wedding whenever that happens. She will have the surprise of her lifetime.

Bacon Lip Balm
The good people over at J&D's (Justin & Dave's) know how to kill two birds with one stone: why not remind yourself of the aroma of bacon while moisturizing your lips. Geniusly gross???


Archie McPhee's Novelty Store
And finally, some wacky gag gifts and novelties can be found here.

Feel free to post some links to any other insane bacon-related food or product. Thanks for reading.

17 comments:

Vicki said...

I actually have the bacon band-aids.

There's also Bacon Salt, and Baconnaise.

eatdrinknbmerry said...

Vicki, thanks! awesome link. I am ordering it very soon. I also found Bacon Lip Balm – adding the photo.

tonyc said...

niiice!

don't forget the bacon bikini

eatdrinknbmerry said...

TonyC, k i just googled that and didn't expect to see that photo haha. do i dare type 'bacon speedo'?!

KirkK said...

LOL! Just say no to bacon...c'mon, who are kidding. I'd get that bacon suit, but we've got a lot of dogs in the neighborhood........

Passionate Eater said...

One of my friends saw something like this written on a hand dryer in a restroom in NYC. Sigh, if only they had bacon dispensers like this in real life!

Anonymous said...

i have seen bacon flavored rolling papers too. made my juicy jays

eatdrinknbmerry said...

KirkK, you'd get a lot of attention from the neighborhood dogs. just hope that it's not 118 degrees outside.

PE, love it, i'm going to post that up. Reminds me of the site www.airtoons.com , where airplane signage is reinterpreted – good stuff.

Anon, a clever way to smoke bacon.

Erinn @ Sunday Dish said...

I'm down with all of the bacon treats, except a bacon doughnut. WTF? That just scares me. But bacon lip balm? DELISH.

daddy in a strange land said...

Guess we should get you two a membership to the Bacon of the Month Club for the wedding?

Bon Vivant said...

I'm currently in a fried chicken coma and just looking at those Krispy Kreme doughnuts has pushed me over the edge.

One Food Guy said...

I had the shake guy in the cafeteria at my previous office blend me up a bacon vanilla milkshake. Let me tell you, it was OUTSTANDING. Sweet and delicious like vanilla, salty and sinful like bacon. Try it - add four strips of cooked crispy bacon to some milk, some vanilla ice cream, and blend. So good.

joanh said...

omg. i like bacon, but those krispy kreme burgers are just wrong.

SauceSupreme said...

The maple bacon bar at Voodoo is perfect for when you're stumbling out of a Portland strip club at 2am... or so I'm told.

Mark Kawayoshi said...

Someone brought those bacon donuts into work. You know me, I had to at least try it. I flat out felt gross after eating that.

Christine D. said...

A work of art? Religious idol? A small man who ate too much bacon? You decide...lol

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